I can admit that I love a good come-up. Anything that will put me on top of my game, strengthen my skills and grow my bag = come-up. I can also admit that I LOVE when my friends have a come-up. Typically, when a friend of mine has good news to share or has a big lifestyle change, I feel as if it’s my own blessing. The happiness that comes from a big opportunity is such a big deal to me because as friends, we would likely understand how hard we worked to get to those big points in our lives.
My friends understand why certain opportunities and blessings are important. The reason being is because nine times out of ten, we have all sat with each other at our lowest moments in life, exhausted, depressed and sometimes lonely, wondering how we can get to the next level. We have shared some of our most intimate secrets and stories of situations we’ve been in, people we’ve met, and things we’ve done just to try and get our foot in the door. My friends have sat with me while I’ve cried, I’ve hugged them when they felt down. So, if anything, my friends would know EXACTLY how I felt if I did or didn’t get an opportunity in comparison to other people.
I say all this to say if I consider you a friend, and we both are on a come-up, and your come-up happens quicker than mine, don’t call me and say, “You next, girl.” Don’t do it.
I’ve had some friends that have done this to me already. It’s very annoying and quite frankly, patronizing. I know some people mean well when they use the term “You next.” More so because it implies a common understanding that you’re the next person that will carry the baton or your blessing will happen shortly after. However, you seem to have forgotten that just a few minutes ago, before you got your celebratory phone call, we were both in the same boat.
I’m not a hater. In fact, I am one-hundred percent happy for you and excited for everything that is to come. But in your response to me, you seem to have completely negated my feelings toward another missed opportunity. You forgot the feeling from the sting that comes after a rejection letter. You forgot the “am I good enough thoughts” that overcome one’s mind when someone doesn’t react to their work. By you saying “You next,” you placed yourself in the box of people we talked about that are pretentious and overlooking. The people that hold their noses up to you because you are not on their level. The people that don’t represent us and weren’t there when we were working so hard.
Don’t belittle my missed opportunity just because you happened to get yours. Let me be happy for you without you feeling the need to throw your success in my face. I love you, girl. You’re like a sister to me. I love you, bro. We’ve been rocking together forever. But I need you to understand, do not (and I cannot stress this enough) “you next” me.