What To Do When This Time of the Year Isn’t So Wonderful

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!?

Usually around this time I am the Queen of Christmas Extraordinaire!! I'm talking about skipping over Thanksgiving, blasting the Temptations “Silent Night” on Nov 1st at 12:01 AM, all while drinking Peppermint Hot Chocolate spiked with Baileys. I always have on Christmas sweaters and trinkets planning my family’s annual Christmas Brunch but this year doesn't feel so wonderful.

2020 has been unforgiving. We are all trying to keep our sanity and lives afloat. We’ve lost loved ones and even some giants in our culture. People have had to look for jobs and figure out ways to keep their families safe, clothed and fed. We are struggling as a country to function without physical contact and face to face interactions. Don’t get me wrong I’m thankful for zoom but I would give anything to hug and see my extended family. We can all agree that it hasn’t been an easy task but we are resilient.

Here are some tips on how to get yourself in the holiday mood.

1. Attitude of Gratitude

The most important tip I have for you is to stay in a posture of Gratitude. Being continually grateful for all the blessings and strives you have had up until this point is crucial. Honestly we can simplify this to being grateful to be alive because so many people had plans for their lives in 2021 and didn’t live long enough to see them to fruition. Because you still are alive, take it as a sign to keep on going and try again another day.

2. Virtually Connect with Your Loved Ones

Secondly I would suggest using technology to your advantage. Set up sometime with your family, friends, or long distance romantic partners to gather virtually. Play some games, catch up on life and even have a holiday themed happy hour to create new memories. Though we can’t hug, we can at least still see each other smile and laugh. I already have the Christmas Day zoom schedule lined up and ready to go.

3. Spend Time with Yourself

While the holidays are about togetherness with our loved ones, don’t look past yourself for the connections that you may be craving. Take a day to love on yourself and give yourself some much needed care. That can be twerking in your house blasting your favorite Meg Thee Stallion song or going on a run to the barbershop to get that holiday fade. Self care can look like being curled up on the couch with eggnog ice cream watching a hallmark Christmas marathon or spending the day listening to jazz painting your next masterpiece. Whatever you decide to do make sure it is something that makes you feel good and lifts your spirits. You matter.

4. Honor Your Grief

Take time to remember the ones and things we’ve lost as grieving is an important process. Do not blindly look past your feelings of sadness, but I encourage you to hold all of your feelings in that moment for what they are. During this time find ways to remember the ones we’ve lost. Get together with your "QuaranTeam" and share your favorite memories, or eat that special food you guys used to eat together. Nothing like the present to remember the beautiful things of the past

5. Hope for Better Days

Find something to look forward to in 2021. It's so easy for us to get stuck in the past but we can not wallow there. There's weddings and new babies, the purchase of new homes, beginning new careers and hopefully plans for safe travel. Though we are unsure of how this year will unfold, we can be sure that we can give ourselves something to look forward to.

Accept this year for what it was, forgive it for what it is not, and prepare for a better future. Take this opportunity to pull all of your emotions together and find peace in what we have knowing that with tomorrow comes opportunities for more. Smile with your family, sing songs while you're in the car and keep your heart positioned in a place of gratitude. I know this year hasn’t been what we hope but that can’t stop us from hoping. With all the warm wishes and love I could send virtually, Happy Holidays from me and mine to you and yours!

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