you deserve joy

How often do we let the fear of disappointment control what we allow ourselves to be happy about? For me, often. So often that it was almost 2nd nature.

Our previous experiences of disappointment have scared us so much that we don’t even allow ourselves to just soak in our joy because we don’t know how long that joy will last. We may be thinking we're protecting ourselves, but we are really doing ourselves more damage.

I received great news that I made it to the final interview stages of a job I wanted. I was excited, but only for a moment. Everyone was so happy for me, but they seemed happier than I was. This is because I wasn’t thinking about how much of a blessing that accomplishment alone was. I also wasn't thinking about the opportunity already being mine, that was way too dangerous.

I started to focus on those other feelings, you know, the negative ones: nervousness about the interview, panic of it not going well, fear of disappointing myself or my family. These were much easier to think and believe. The idea of getting excited was like me jinxing an opportunity.

Let's think about how common this really is. We make ourselves feel the disappointment before we even know the final result of the situation.

"I got accepted but I'm not sure how I'll pay for it"

"They're feeling better, but I'm not sure how long it'll last"

"I got a job, but I don't think I'll like it"

"I applied, but they probably won't hire me"

We swear we aren’t superstitious but will give the idea of “jinx” some real live power. Jinx is just an excuse to not be bold and proclaim out loud what you want! Life is too short to not ever try God, trust God, or allow God to work miracles in your life. Failure, disappointment, sadness and every other emotion we try to avoid are temporary to how we choose to think and perceive what life throws our way.

I didn't get the job and I wallowed in that disappointment for a long time. But once I realized I wasn't dead, life was still going on, blessings still flowing and all of this available joy, I realized I gave that negative shit way too much power. Not only did I get another opportunity, but it also took me to the very place I said I wanted to go and connected me with the very people I said I wanted to meet. God's power is as real as we allow it to be in our minds.

We are human and bound to have initial emotional responses to things we encounter in life, and that includes the good, the bad, and the disappointing. But once you realize that the lasting phase of disappointment is you mentally not moving forward, then you realize your power.

Disappointment is as depressing as you make it. Stop letting it control what you do and don't go after, as well as limiting your belief that what you ask for can really happen. Be patient for Gods timing and enjoy the journey.

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